The Art of Satisfaction: Technique & Taboos

As a Caregiver you don’t feel you have anything to “prove” in bed — you’re never going to swing from the chandeliers or pull a muscle attempting a crazy position just for the sake of novelty. It’s the basics of sex that give you satisfaction: communication, trust, and reciprocation. It’s just that in your hands (so to speak) the old feels new again.

This is a fine art. Alternate with your partner in setting the pace, mood, and position. When you’re in charge, you’ll be able to focus fully on figuring out what you like and communicating your preferences; when you’re following your partner’s lead, the pleasure of each move will feel amplified because you won’t be distracted by thoughts of what you’re supposed to be doing.

For Caregivers like you, sex is a form of bodily worship — which means positions that require multitasking aren’t really your thing. You prefer to be fully focused on your partner so you can get the rhythm right and tune in to all their nonverbal communication. When you give yourself over fully in bed and see how your partner responds, you get confirmation for something you knew all along: giving can be just as satisfying as receiving.

In our book, sideways sex is like the missionary position minus the humdrum. By definition, lying on your side will limit your range of motion, which will force you and your partner to take your time and learn how to move together. Think: X-rated spooning.