The Art of Seduction

Nobody needs to tell an Intellectual that the brain is the biggest sex organ. Here are a few ways to wield it:

Is there anything more delightful than lying in bed and being read to? It feels deliciously decadent and old-school. If the book in question is erotica, all the better; it’s a great way to take your mind off work, family drama, and world politics and train it firmly on the body by your side. Plus, if you’re shy about talking dirty, this is an easy way to plunge in — no pressure to come up with the material yourself!

Can you count the ways you love your partner? Then write them all down, damn it! Use nice stationery and your best cursive. The more specific you are with each point — treasured memories, for example — the more endearing the list will be (meaning, it won’t seem like you cribbed it from someone else!). Once you’ve written your list, leave it under your partner’s pillow. Or repeat Step 1 and read it aloud. You’ll see: No one can resist a love letter.

Cultures throughout history have made bathing a key part of important sexual unions. After all, it embodies purification, simplification, and adoration. Just because you live in modern times doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy the benefits of a centuries-old tradition. Light candles, burn incense, and infuse the water with flowers, herbs, or oils. Then take turns gently washing each other, massaging each other’s scalp with shampoo, rinsing each other off, and patting each other dry. Or indulge in a little role-play: One night you are the devoted servant; the next you are the sex god being worshiped.