Is the idea of beating the system thrilling to you, and do you think that everyone who isn’t you is part of said “system?” Are you sneaky? Irresistibly drawn to shortcuts that others don’t even see? How do you feel about stealing? Do you somehow find a way not to care about those who are hurt or inconvenienced by your actions? Then, hello, Cheater! 

Cheaters use their Intellectual prowess to embezzle, hack, and philander. They are card sharks and pool hustlers. They are Athletes who use steroids and CEOs who funnel good people’s money into offshore accounts. They are lovers who sneak around with other lovers and students who steal the answer key.

Sometimes Cheaters get their hands on large sums of money. Sometimes they find ways to have their cake and eat it too – and her cake and his cake and their cakes… but for Cheaters it’s not really about the conventional rewards like money or “cake.” Cheaters are in it for the game. They love a challenge and are invigorated by seeing their diabolical plans really work.

Cheater Superpowers

  • Discarding conventional wisdom
  • Avoiding boredom and drudgery
  • Finding unethical solutions
  • Being greedy
  • Winning at any cost

A Happy Cheater
Cheaters are highly intelligent and easily bored by ordinary life. They don’t have deep wells of empathy so while other people are busy connecting and caring about one another, the Cheater is dreaming up the next big scam. Happiness is “getting away with it,” being first while the other chumps wait in line, having the most money with the least amount of work, and getting into places they don’t belong. These spies, thieves, and hackers are happiest in the throes of their game.

Famous Cheaters
Richard Nixon, Halliburton, Enron, Tiger Woods, Lance Armstrong, whomever’s crazy “affair” scandal is on the cover of this week’s issue of US Weekly

Cheater Entourage
Cheaters will take advantage of anyone, but are especially good at cheating the Victim, Martyr, or Codependent.

Cheater in Love
Not all liars cheat, but all cheaters lie; they have to in order to conceal the trick, cover their tracks and avoid arrest. Cheaters in love can be identified by the lies they tell and it’s usually not so difficult to get to the truth once a partner really wants to know it. Sometimes partners of Cheaters are oblivious because it’s easier than walking up to the Cheater’s true nature.

Cheater Challenge
Telling the truth, working hard, and playing fair are the things Cheaters find the most challenging in life. Ironically, some Cheaters work harder at cheating than they would have had to work if they had just done things the honest way.

How to Play It
Anyone can get cheated once. After that they learn the signs and develop an internal red flag system to keep them clear of this kind of harm again. If you find yourself repeatedly being cheated, it’s time to examine your choices, figure out why you keep making the same mistake and take preventative action against future damages. This will likely involve building your self-esteem.

If you see this tendency in yourself, seek help. Every time you cheat, your soul gets a little sicker and your connection to goodness weakens. By cheating others, you are denying yourself the basic integrity that’s needed to enjoy life.

Click here to meet the rest of the Intellectual Teen family