Does connecting with people while you’re out and about on your daily routine give you an energy boost that rivals a can of Red Bull? When you make cashiers smile and baristas bat their eyes, do you feel a winner’s rush? Are you compelled to share a little laughter with just about anyone who seems open to it? If so, it’s likely you are a Flirt.
When the Flirt turns on the charm, strangers turn into friends in seconds flat. The Flirt’s easy, breezy conversation and innocently overtly-friendly familiarity has a way of catching people off-guard and warming them up. This type often has a slice of Performer or Rebel, which lends the confidence to perform, wink, and smile with the greatest of ease.
Flirting is a form of flattery. People who are being flirted with feel important, like they are finally being recognized for the attractive, intelligent, all-around awesome people they really are. And since the Flirt gets a similar charge in the transaction, the buzzy vibes effervesce wherever the Flirt goes.
- Master at eye contact and can convey a wide range of feeling, intention, and information without saying a word
- Embraces and delights in the perks of his or her gender
- Teases with the promise of fun; more playful than a puppy
- Quick with the icebreakers and heavenly handshakes
- Inspires a craving for more and more attention
A Happy Flirt
Plain and simple, a Flirt is happiest in the beach ball volley of giving and receiving attention. The Flirt loves to get the validation that he or she is sexy, adorable or smart and then bump the ball of inflated feelings right back over the net to see what happens.
Don Juan, Giacomo Casanova, Helen of Troy, Marilyn Monroe, Debby Reynolds, Jason Segel, Vince Vaughn, Taylor Swift, Ariana Grande
Flirts have many friends like: the Cheerleader, BFF, Goof, Genius, Inventor, Class Leader, Athlete, Boy/Girl, Nerd, and Geek
Flirt in Love
Obviously, anyone who is prone to jealousy will not be a good match for the Flirt. The Flirt needs a strong, confident partner who will not be ruffled by the way the Flirt dances through life, charming each person along the way. The Flirt also needs a partner who can cut through the “game” and bring the Flirt to a serious level at times. The Flirt respects someone who is not easily manipulated and who will make the Flirt work harder than usual to earn his or her admiration, attention, and trust. The ideal sweetie is not entirely immune to the Flirt’s charms but is somewhat resistant to them.
Just as the Flirt’s attention can be addicting to others, the Flirt can become equally addicted to feedback and must be careful not to base his or her self-definition on the opinions and attention of others. The Flirt needs to be vigilant in acting in a way to earn self-respect and self-love, instead seeking approval and acceptance elsewhere. It is dangerous to derive a feeling of worth based on any source outside oneself.
How to Play It
Those who feel they don’t deserve the extra attention may be skeptical of the Flirt and wonder what the Flirt wants. Indeed, it’s usually something along the lines of acceptance, attention, or the Flirt might just want to play. Usually the Flirt’s ulterior motives are not too costly for the other person, but the object of the Flirt’s attention should beware: The Flirt is not to be taken too seriously.
Inevitably, a particularly naïve, needy, or vulnerable someone will get caught up in the excitement of connecting with the Flirt and, believing that something very special and magical is going on, will tumble head over heels in love. This poses a problem for all involved. The flirty attention that makes each person feel special will seem far less special when a vulnerable someone realizes that the Flirt is charming with pretty much everyone. The effect can be devastating. So if you’re the Flirt, be mindful of your target. Ask yourself: Is this person going to take me too seriously? Could my attention wind up hurting him or her in the end?