Do you love falling in love, so much so that you do it all the time? When you hear love songs, do you ache because it feels like they were written just for your situation? High tolerance for chick flicks, even if you’re a guy? Do you believe that love conquers all and that some people are just meant to be together? Is Valentine’s Day your favorite? If so, hello, Lover.
The Lover believes the key to paradise is inside the heart of another person, a very special, beautiful kind of person whom the Lover has been searching for since before birth and maybe even in several lifetimes before that. When the Lover finds that soulmate and he or she opens up and lets love flow back to the Lover, the world transforms into poetry, music, passion, drama, and complete a immersion in the games of romance.
Sound idealistic? Fanciful? Improbable? Not to the Lover, who has quite possibly experienced this kind of heaven on earth more than once and may be addicted to the adrenaline rush that occurs with each new pursuit.
Of course, some Lovers devote themselves to only one love and keep striving for ever higher romantic planes within that relationship, which they usually achieve by letting their hearts lead the way.
- Is crazy-charismatic
- Hypnotizes with romantic language
- Fluent in the arts of lovemaking and gift-giving
- Blazing kisses
- Passion, passion, and more passion.
A Happy Lover
The happiest time for the Lover is the moment when he or she senses that the chase is on. This moment ignites a visceral response: pupils dilate, mouth waters, pulse quickens — the Lover feels completely alive with appetite and possibility.
Cleopatra, Sir Lancelot and Guinevere, Romeo and Juliet, Rhett Butler and Scarlett O’Hara, Elizabeth Bennett and Mr. Darcy, Pepe le Pew
The Lover’s intensity of emotion is especially attractive to the Angel, Dancer, Musician, Athlete, and Free Spirit.
Lover in Love
Yes! Usually. Maybe with a different person each week. Maybe with the same person always. Truly, deeply, madly? Of course! There is no other way for the Lover.
True love does make the world go ’round, at least for creatures like humans whose very survival as a species hinges on the addiction of love. But that doesn’t mean said addiction is always healthy. In fact some scientists have compared the symptoms of love to that of mental illnesses like depression and obsessive disorders. (They say that the feeling you experience when falling in love is the same as when snorting cocaine.) The Lover likes to think “love” is always the answer, and that may be true. But sometimes the question is, “What’s the thing that is ruining my life the most right now?”
How to Play It
Often what the Lover calls “love” is actually desire. The difference between love and desire is so significant, these states of mind exist in different parts of the brain. Desire activates the brain’s pleasure center, whereas love goes to the part of the brain that governs reward patterns and habits.
Desire will ebb and flow. When desire is low, it does not automatically signal the end of love. In fact, it can be the beginning of a deeper connection. Love isn’t always whirlwinds of passionate kisses. Sometimes it’s shared projects, habits formed around mutual care and nurturing, or just being together.
The Lover who accurately understands the nature his or her feelings has the best chance at building meaningful relationships, instead of wandering from obsession to obsession searching for that elusive One Perfect Love.